Friday, November 9, 2007

It's Okay to Kibitz

The whodunit club is having its first (and perhaps annual) murder mystery dinner on the 18th. All of the roles have been taken, but you're welcome to come kibitz. We will enforce some rules. You will be seen and not heard. If you want to kibitz out loud, you'll have to bribe one of the main characters...except Detective Scooter Scoff. Not only is Scoff above bribery, she knows who dun it and is unwilling to hear any of your harebrained ideas. You don't want Scoff to scoff at you, do you?

I'm not sure how this dinner will work out, but it should be fun. Everyone is under suspicion. Everyone will be pointing a finger at everyone else. Here's the basic outline of the murder, along with a list of suspects.

On 11/4/07

Pete Pedarewsky, a local alcoholic and panhandler, is found dead outside the door of Miss Prothero's Books. Pete is face-up on the pavement. His body is cold, very cold. A heavy, but fragile scrapbook is open on his chest. The scrapbook seems to be rather old. The leather binding is flaking. The pages and the newsprint inside are yellowed. Some of the pages seem to have been torn away. Jean Leapfrog claims the book is the 57th scrapbook of Sam Howe. Pedarewsky’s head is at an odd angle and there is bruising on his left cheek and temple. A broken bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 is found beneath Pete's lower back. The staining under his body is a mixture of blood, booze, and something crystalline. One of the nearby parking signs on Santa Fe has been plowed over and there are black marks on the sign. Pete has teeth marks on his ankle. The bookstore door is open. It's been a windy week in Denver, so it is impossible to tell what nature may have disturbed and what man/woman may have disturbed. Several of the dog books have been torn apart and have teeth marks on them. Hank "Hillie" Snitzen found the body. Snitzen came to the store early on the 4th to meet with Miss Prothero about some “personal matters”. He had bits of yellowed paper sticking out from his suit coat pockets. He told the police he was just picking up the trash on the way to the store. The police cannot locate Miss Prothero. The police are also unable to locate Bob the Boy Student. (Bob lives above the bookstore.) Bob's white poodle Charley is also missing.

On 11/18/07

The police have taken down the crime scene tape and have returned the bookstore to its owners. Emily Washington, former sole proprietor of the bookstore, has declared that nothing is missing...except for Miss Prothero and Bob the boy student. (Charley the white poodle turned up three days ago at a posh gallery down the street. The dog was foaming at the mouth and vicious. The dog growled at the gallery owner who then squeaked, jumped in the air, and shot the dog. "The dog was mad," the owner stated, "simply mad!") A group of concerned customers and owners are meeting at the bookstore to consider suspicions and options. Detective Scooter Scoff has joined the group to ask an occasional question, observe mannerisms and hand out a clue or two. In the course of the evening, the murder will be solved, bad deeds will be punished, the innocent will be exonerated, and the deadly plot will be put to bed. The group meeting at the store includes:

Emily Washington -- Fifty something and hot in high heels.

Jean Leapfrog -- She says she's a rare book dealer, but could she be a world-class wrestler?

Sister Ellen Akunin -- Fifty something and hot in a habit.

Cindy Grimes -- Is she a bookkeeper or a bookie?

D. A. Dogleash -- Did she train poodles or Pete?

Susan Rendell -- A career politician and a damn fine reason for term limits.

Hank "Hillie" Snitzen -- Could he be the heir of Nate Badenova?

If you do want to kibitz, call the store (303-572-2260). A complete description of each suspect should help.

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